I think you mean this, from p4:

Access checking is performed as if in a context unrelated to To and From. Only the validity
of the immediate context of the expression of the return-statement (including conversions to the return type) is considered. [Note: The evaluation of the conversion can result in side effects such as the instantiation of class template specializations and function template specializations, the generation of implicitly-defined functions, and so on. Such side effects are not in the “immediate context” and can result in the program being ill-formed.]

This is wrong in quite a few ways ("evaluation" and "side effect" are defined to mean something completely different from what this note is talking about, there is no such thing as a return-statement, the "as if" is noise since it's already implied for all rules in the standard, ...). How about this:

Access checking is performed in a context unrelated to To and From. Only the validity of the immediate context of the expression in the return statement (including the initialization of the returned object or reference) is considered. [Note: The initialization can result in effects such as the instantiation of class template specializations and function template specializations, the generation of implicitly-defined functions, and so on. Such effects are not in the “immediate context” and can result in the program being ill-formed.]

The bogus "side effects" / "evaluation" wording also appears in [temp.deduct]/8 and Table 49 in [meta.unary.prop]; we should either fix it everywhere, or preferably just refer back to [temp.deduct] for the implications of "immediate context". It'd be good to make [temp.deduct] actually define this rather than hand-wave...

(Oops, just deleted my comment instead of editing it)

I actually meant this text earlier in the paragraph, between the two code blocks:

only if the return expression in the following code would be well-formed,

But I agree with the other problems you spotted, and your suggested fixes.

The "immediate context" phrasing, including the note, has spawned throughout [meta], it seems.

The "immediate context" concerns are covered by LWG 2290 "Top-level "SFINAE"-based constraints should get a separate definition in Clause 17".

#1252 fixes [temp.deduct] to avoid "side effect" and "evaluation".